Evaluating listening skills (Revised)

In daily conversations, it gets hard when the listener does not show active listening skills or the communicator being unable to read the nonverbal cues given by the listener. To give an example, I will be using a scenario I observed between two friends named Charles (whom is 26 and Alphonse whom is 20).

(It started with Alphonse complaining to Charles about his tight schedule for the upcoming semester. Alphonse complained that his friends from other colleges are having a schedule that is not as tight as Alphonse. Charles replied that Alphonse should be glad about it as this implies that the college is thriving for their students to achieve greater heights. At this moment, Alphonse let out a deep sigh and thought to himself why Charles could not get the point he was putting across and looked away from the conversation. Alphonse then started looking at his phone with his lips protruding while Charles continued talking. Upon noticing Alphonse silence after a period of time, Charles started questioning whether Alphonse was actually listening to what he has to say and that led on to an argument.

In the example above, Alphonse displayed a nonverbal cue of him being disappointed by the reply given by Charles as shown by Alphonse breathing a deep sigh after Charles reply. The reason was because Charles did not attempt to read the underlying message from Alphonse that he wanted to have a fun study life along with his friends. By having a tight schedule, it would only result in Alphonse not being able to hang out with his friends. Alphonse being 6 years younger than Charles could still have the mind-set of wanting to maintain a balanced work life structure where he could have fun while studying hard for the degree. However, Alphonse being the younger one and not having enough experience to make sound judgement, started pouting and not replying to Charles. When Charles questioned Alphonse, he did not notice that Alphonse is unhappy. This lack of nonverbal cue of not reading a person’s facial expression led on to the argument.)

In daily conversations, there are always people whom have shorter listening span than others. It gets annoying when one has to keep repeating the same sentence over and over again to the person one is talking to. To give an example of that, I will be using a scenario between two people named them Charles (age 30) and Alphonse (age 20).

The scenario involves the two friends, Alphonse complaining to his oversea friend Charles about his tight time schedule for the new semester. One day, Alphonse comes home after learning of his new schedule for the new semester and called Charles in hope Charles will comfort Alphonse. Alphonse started complaining by first stating that his local friends from other campus are having a lighter schedule as compared to him. Charles replied that it is normal for the schedules to differ from one campus to another. However, Alphonse replied that his schedules should not have differed that much as they are still locally located. Charles said that it might not always hold true as different campus may thrive for different schedules so as to push their students to a higher height. Alphonse felt irritated at this instance and began having a bias mind set which led to an argument.

The above example shows that the difference in culture will lead to the lack of understanding between both parties. Charles understands where Alphonse is coming from however; he did not attempt to give words of encouragement, like stating that the tight schedule was so that the students could be pushed to higher heights and Alphonse should be rather glad about it. Instead, Charles wanted to brush the topic off by stating that different campus has different schedules.

The lesson we can learn from this would be to listen to the other party and to try to understand where they are coming from. The listener should try to understand why the speaker has spoken in the way the speaker did and ask questions if there are any doubts.

In daily conversations, there are always people whom have shorter listening span than others. It gets annoying when one has to keep repeating the same sentence over and over again to the person one is talking to. To give an example of that, I will be using a scenario between two people named them Charles (age 30) and Alphonse (age 20). 

The scenario involves the two friends, Alphonse complaining to his oversea friend Charles about his tight time schedule for the new semester. One day, Alphonse comes home after learning of his new schedule for the new semester and called Charles in hope Charles will comfort Alphonse. Alphonse started complaining by first stating that his local friends from other campus are having a lighter schedule as compared to him. Charles replied that it is normal for the schedules to differ from one campus to another. However, Alphonse replied that his schedules should not have differed that much as they are still locally located. Charles said that it might not always hold true as different campus may thrive for different schedules so as to push their students to a higher height. Alphonse felt irritated at this instance and began having a bias mind set which led to an argument. 

The above example shows that the difference in culture will lead to the lack of understanding between both parties. Charles understands where Alphonse is coming from however; he did not attempt to give words of encouragement, like stating that the tight schedule was so that the students could be pushed to higher heights and Alphonse should be rather glad about it. Instead, Charles wanted to brush the topic off by stating that different campus has different schedules.

The lesson we can learn from this would be to listen to the other party and to try to understand where they are coming from. The listener should try to understand why the speaker has spoken in the way the speaker did and

In interpersonal communication, Emotional Intelligence (EI or EQ) can be used to improve the communications between you and the other party. Emotional Intelligence can be defined as the reasoning behind emotions and using that reasoning to promote emotional growth.

There are 5 components that make up Emotional Intelligence. They are self - awareness, self - regulation, internal motivation, empathy and social skills.
Self - awareness is the awareness of one's emotions and the effect those emotions might have on the others. For example, when one is explaining his/ her idea to the other party, the amount of passion will drive the others to go along with what one has explained.
Self - regulation is about controlling oneself from acting on emotion and not thinking about first. For example, one knows that he/ she is short on cash but sees an item that one really wants, he/ she will buy it on impulse instead of thinking of how short on cash one is already in.
Internal motivation is the motivation to finish the thing that one wanted. For example, when a person is building a model kit, he/ she must have the motivation to finish the model kit instead of doing it halfway and leaving it one side.
Empathy is the ability to empathize another person's emotion.  For example, person A is complaining to person B on how hard math is. Person B can empathize with person A as person B knows how hard math is as well.
Social skills is the ability to communicate with other people on a common ground. For example, person A is able to get along with the people around and lead his/ her team to success.

When faced with an obstacle, we could use the six second's strategy to decide the choice to make. The six second's strategy require one to know oneself, choose oneself or give oneself.
To know oneself would be to have self -awareness, self - honesty and to know of one's right.
To choose oneself would be to choose the 'right' choice even though one know there are no immediate reward, prioritizing the things to do, not act rashly, be an optimist and to be able to account to oneself.
To give oneself would be to recognize another person's effort and to choose choices not based solely on one's own emotions but to the consensus of the team that one is in.

Having said these, it still is hard to understand one's emotion and there are times where even if we have this knowledge about our emotional intelligence, we would still act on impulse, not care about another person's emotion and go through with our selfishness. I hope that I will be able to control myself more and keep this in mind when I communicate with other people in the future.

(Revised Version)

(There are various strengths in communications and) I feel that my strength in communicating with others would be (the) appropriateness of my language used in different contexts. As the topic of a conversation changes, I will do my best to use the correct terms in the subject of interest. There may be times that I use technical terms to describe the subject due to the knowledge of the (other) party and the need to feel emphatic for those who are learning the subject now. (For example,) in the case where a presentation is to be done, I will use the right terms as there is a need to ensure that everyone is on the same page. 

The challenges I faced in communicating would be the lack of daily used vocabulary, sudden forgetfulness of the word to use and misinterpretation of the message that I am delivering across. (It is precisely due to these challenges that) I feel I am studying everyday as life is about studying. Even when in class or when speaking with others, there are times where (the other) party will use words that I have no prior knowledge of. In such cases, I have learn a new word which can be added to my list of daily used vocabulary.

Communication is hard when the right word does not (surface in) the mind. At times like these, I will try to use a substitute (word that has the closest meaning). Though (this method may not work) all the time, it can (at the very least) bring the idea across. There was a time when I was presenting and the way I bring a point across was interpreted wrongly as I tried to substitute a word for another. Such was a lesson I learn in the process that one must always remember their slides and the terms that he or she will be using.

 (Having said about these challenges, I would like to develop a certain level of communication skill that will enable me to communicate with others more effectively. There are two objectives I would like to have met before I exit from the current English Communication Module.

Firstly, I would like to try noticing other people's non-verbal cues. This is because when I speak to a group of people, I would rarely notice the receiving parties reactions and meanings behind what they have said. Thus resulting in diverting from the topic they are on.

Secondly, I would like to take lesser amount of time to choose my words carefully when I am communicating to the target audience. When I am trying to convey a message across to the other party in a presentation or lecture style, I tend to take a short moment to think of how to construct my sentences so that my message will not be misinterpreted. However, there will be instances where the other party starts asking questions before I could continue on. This is the reason behind why I would like to think faster while having the right words used.)